coldrecluse

How delicious does this look omg?
I should be doing work right now but too lazy to.
I would love to be eating a chocolate cake right now, seriously.

Abandonment. Abandonment. Abandonment.
Complains. Complains. Complains.
Control. Control. Control.
Lie. Lie. Lie.
Again.

This blog is just way too depressing.
I should get a new lj.

I need to start buying cds again.

SAAJI WANTS TO GET ME PURPLE ROSES YAY!
(:

Nam,

Nam, you better not do something stupid.
I'm not coming to your funeral heh.
And you know what?
When you go to a JC, all the hot, funny, totally awesome guys are gonna fall in love with you man!
And then you'll be so stressed about getting rid of all your stalkers.
Ok, again, I don't know what to say :/
But just don't put up your wall against me ok.

313 Somerset with Cher.
Dora came for a while.
Saw Ange and Theresa later at some random boutique.
Where the hell have I been living so far omg!
That place is awesome.
4 LEVELS OF FOREVER 21!
I spent like 170 bucks there.
Could spend it all there gosh.
L.O.V.E
Yes Avina, I've been living under rocks!
Then all the way to Starbucks in Siglap.
Sorry Cher haha.
I had a sudden urge to go there.

OK.
FOCUS RASEE.
ONLY STUDIES FROM NOW ON.

IdislikeBlackberries.

Ali Maula's haunting me haha.

I bought a mustard coloured bag.
Basically, something not black.

A top which is actually very colourful.

Aunt.
I've not spoken to you for so long, miss you badly.
Do I dare ask you to call me?

Social Studies and Biology today.
I don't know if i'll pass because I practically just vomited out whatever I memorised, no link.
I know that I won't pass Biology because...well because its Bio.
But i'm still quite pleased.
This is the first time I didn't feel lost during a Social Studies paper.
This is the VERY FIRST time that I didn't fall asleep after 5 minutes of flipping through a Biology paper not knowing how to do anything.
I had some sort of an idea on what was going on, so I feel better than I should.

CHEMISTRY and LITERATURE tomorrow.
Gulp.
Chemistry is so hard to memorise but i've never really made any real effort to study Chemistry so i'm going to, today.
Literature better not die on me omg.
But 14 chapters for CA1 is crazy.
I will do crazy mugging again today.

Mr Peh is the best Biology teacher ever omg.
"When this male pollen grain meets this female joker..."
"Unscrupulous...with no feelings..."
His expression after the duster falls down.
Omg HAHAHAHAHAHA HILARIOUS!
Bio's actually kind of fun.

Time is actually passing pretty fast these days...
I have saturday to look forward to whoo!

Thisaiyellam enakku,
irulakik kidakku,
engaeyo payanam thodaruthamma.
ennoda manasum pazhuthakippochu,
sari seyya valiyum theriyalamma.

Looooond week!
Next week's gonna be longer.
Went to Parkway with Chermaine today to get the science books.
Ended up being a little most studious than we planned to and got more guide books.
Came back preeeeetty pronto so nothing to complain about.
Starbucks, prawn sticks and chocolate cake so whoo!

I wish my room would go through a renovation process like NOW.
It just doesn't reflect my taste, I feel almost as though i'm just crashing someone else's house.

I feel kinda really awful right now.
I just loaded all my stress on my already stress overloaded dad's head.
And thinking back, it's on pretty trivial things.
I want to take it back but his door is closed so,
Sorry dad  ):

Next week's hardcore.
I. L.I.K.E.
Being busy = No time to think about anything else.

Not going to Paramore's, probably.   ):

This is so cute!

Stress Relief needed soon.
Things to buy:
PAIGE'S PRESENT   :/
Dresses!

At least, shampoo to replace my soon to end shampoo.
I am so deprived right now thanks to my mission G33K.

Tomorrow, I will murder Firdausi for ditching me.
Ok, technically she didn't but I couldn't find her so...

I'm combining my sciences.
Mission kick ass has to come soon haha.
Hopefully.

I had goooood food today and maybe thats the reason why but I feel so happy right now haha. AND I called my dad to ask if he could PLEASE buy me coffee and he went sure! And so moral of story: ask dad to buy coffee.
Nicely.
Now if only he would be as willing to go shopping with me and pay for everything I buy haha.

If my phone dies on me ANYTIME NOW, like omg, ok, i'll be ok.
A bit weird but ok.
Haha.

Guess who I saw today at Parkway?
Made my day, I swear.

And omg may the MacDonald's people not curse me.
I threw the whole tray in  :/
Sorry.

I will epically distort the truth and say that studying at the library was a total success haha!
I have to go to the library more often...with more normal people haha.
Dora and Leonard epic phail.
Heh.

Just because I don't speak about it, it doesn't mean that i'm way past it.
But soon enough I will be.

I am so tired.
And there's like a million things to do everyday!
Bio remedial cheated my feelings today.
I thought it was supposed to end at 3.15 but nooo they were ending at 3.30 and Mrs Sim ended at 3.45.
I almost died, this is mental torture.

But anyyyyywayy, my english teacher has a thing for me not doing homework so i'm going to rush through her summary, newspaper article and research by today along with Tamil, Tamil and Tamil.
Bless me.

1) I will try my best to not listen to music when I study.
2) To the library with Dora tomorrow till 6 at least, need to get work done.
3) I'M SO SORRY PAIGE! I promise i'll get your present soon!
4) As much as I complain, I like feeling busy, the stress. Just not when I feel so tired that I want to collapse.
5) I seriously can't wait to see myself passing something, anything.
6) Fuck A1s, let me pass first.
7) I'm jut gonna pretend that it was nothing more than a thought and that nothing ever happened.
Unnecessary drama.
8) Thanks. You are so successful in doing what you do.
9) I need coffee.
10) I CAN cook!

Life's ok (:

 

 

Haha this is mildly entertaining(:

This line is still stuck in my head damn it.
If everything was everything but everything is over,
Everything could be everything if only we were older.

I'm stuck in a rut.

Tomorrow's a monday.
Where did the weekend go?!

Ok, time to start on homework.

I hate that I don't know how my whole Friday went.
But I love that it definitely wasn't wasted at school.

I was listening to Justin Bieber's One Time and I had to laugh when he went
"Whatever you want shawty, i'll give it to you!".
Becauuuuuse, dude's only gonna turn 16(Along with Dora, haha) in March and he's pretty darn short.
At least shorter than all the girls in the mvs.
Haha, sorry to those in love with him(:

Avatar's obviously winning big everywhere and I suddenly got reminded.
Ger,"PG is a little under rating for all those blue naked people running around making love."
Haha, just got reminded.

Do you realise that when we talk, it's always about you?
Somehow, you always manage to make it all about you.
I was fine with it but i'm starting to realise that some of the things that you say are pulling me down big time.
Oh and that line that you add at the end, "At least you're happy and content with life" -
I hate that.

"You said that I must eat so many lemons cos I am so bitter."

When I look in the mirror I see thinness but I feel fatness. -Anorexic Girl in Girlfriend mag.
Anorexia is so scary.

Ok, I can feel myself starting to rant again.
Going to eat some edible stuff.
The Vitamin C stuff that they give you at the clinic just tastes absolutely cough delicious.

Fever, again.

My head hurts like hell and I have no idea why.
I don't need a migraine right now.
Last day of school tomorrow for the week.
I really don't want to go.

Mrs Chan wants our Chemistry papers signed.
Omg.
E Math, A Math, Chem ; fail.
I didn't even study for Chemistry so I deserve it but the rest...

Yah, I noticed the change.

I'm dying.


To Paige - Happy 16th(:

 

 

Ok, today wasn't very successful.
Saaji and I are two too distracted people haha.
But it definitely felt much better to know that there's someone normal out there(:
Thank you!

I finally spoke to my mum after...16 days?
Only because of all the melodrama.
Poor thing, stuck here because of me.
But at the same time...

Tomorrow's gonna rock.
Two maths and 3 science periods.
Whoo.

We are all very tired people.

Nokia 5530 Xpress Music

Sony Cyber Shot Digital Still Camera W Series

Somebody please get me these, thanks(:

Pulau Semakau today. I survived the an hour and half something of traveling, even the boat trips! But the "learning journey" itself was extremely boring. The island just had a sleepy effect on all of us...Even Ms Ng was falling asleep. But it was quite ok in the sense that no one said anything if we fell asleep. And we took photos and we were weird so yes, I survived.

This week is going to be omg so tiring. SS Time Based Assignment tomorrow. E Math Remedial tomorrow/ to the library with Saaji(hopefully) to study. SS Remedial on thursday. Bio Formative Test, A Math Class Test, E Math Class Test and don't know what else test on thursday. Hopefully I can actually go home after school on friday or I might ak something to go to the library with me to study. I really need to study.

I actually studied for E Math, still fail. Same feelings as Nam. My A Math Tuition can't teach me anymore and I badly need one. My Science Tuition teacher's MIA and I badly need a science tuition teacher too. I need to find some other tuition teachers fast. My parents are being highly temperamental.

Bad hair day haha.
Today was a gooooood day.
Slack + High.
Library with Dora to study. It was a success whooooo!
DORA I WANT THE PINK DIALOGUE NOTEBOOK!
Purple's awesome but I want the pink toooooo!

It's so nice to see you happy (:

"Oh my god, i'm a girl." - Dora.
HAHAHAHA.
Pink pen ftw haha.
I like.

Sorry Jerlene.
She is having a bad day.
Tomorrow might be better (:

Oh my god no.
Pulau Semakau tomorrow.
BOAT RIDE FOR 30 FREAKING MINUTES IN FREAKING CHOPPY WATERS.
Kill me.
But Dora has travel pills so I might survive and not drown or whatever.

Dad's back.
He has really bad eye bags and he looks sad  ):
Cheer up, things will be ok soon.

I'm always amazed at how I always manage to give myself away and mess up things.
):
Sigh.

I wish things would go back to how they were.

I'd like one of these rings.
I still don't know what to get for Paige.
BUT I already know what to get Saaji!
Haha, it might change over the year but I think I know.

If everything was everything but everything is over,
Everything could be everything if only we were older

Sometimes, it's so suffocating to just feel.
It leaves me thinking more than I should.

I was reading whymyexsucks.com or something and gosh,
they make it sound as though my life's the best.
Some are so hilarious, some are sick but most are seriously tragic.
Anyone who reads those might have second doubts on dating again.

School tomorrow.
Where did the weekend go omg?!
I'm going to do homework now, Chemistry Formative Test tomorrow.
SAVE ME.
Haha.

AND PAIGE LIM, TELL ME WHAT YOU'D LIKE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!

Been waiting a whole week to post this haha. Actually life's not that bad anymore. I'm not sick, just a cold left. Time is passing pretty quickly at school! Even though Mrs Sim decided to get a little too temperamental with Nam and me today...Chemistry Formative Test on Tuesday, E Math Quiz on Tuesday and Biology Formative Test on Thursday or Friday. Though it would be nice to pass...haha. I like being busy. I actually sleep at night nowadays! I've been falling asleep at 7 everyday though..Definitely sleeping more than I should. But right now, i'm just happy that my body clock's going abnormal.

It feels kind of unsteady to suddenly feel so ok, but i'm not complaining(:

AND I NEED TO GO SHOPPING! But since someone's birthday is next week..I will nicely wait ;) After that, i'm off to find new clothes and shoes.

Saaji, Is this what you want?
Haha, this is very colorful!

I survived:
3 Periods of Science Practical Assessment
A Math CA1
E Math CA 1

And i'm so fucking proud of myself haha.
Ok, so I feel asleep in the middle but I got through without as many complaints so it counts.

I am trying to go cold turkey.
Hope that works.

"Be patient. You’ll know when it’s time for you to wake up and move ahead."
-Ram

To the library with Raazith. Oh yes, I studied...
"Referred" to Saaji's english comprehension answers.
I can't believe I actually went to a library to study...and actually did.
A little anyway.
Haha, thanks Raazith.
I admire your passion for change.
(:

O Level HMT Results: B3.
Ok, I don't know what to feel.
But I don't really feel that depressed over that so, oh well.

Tired but I feel much much better than i've done the past week!

OMG SECRET GARDEN.
Haha! I love this movie.
After the big scary O's i'm gonna get Saaji to come to my house or crash hers to to watch all our favorite movies!

Maybe it's Saaji or maybe it's my mum's excellent cooking or maybe it's Raazith but wow, suddenly I feel so much better. Being sick DOES make things look worse than they are haha. Tangerines could have helped too of course.

Cheers(:
Apparently MT Oral O Level Results are out tomorrow, hope I do well.
If not, there's June.
IF not, fuck it.

I went back to read my blog posts (Don't ask me why.) and wow.
I think anyone who read them would have felt worse than how they felt during Chemistry exams.
Pretty much locked everything but aye I'll be more...normal from now on...
Haha.

Leona Lewis's Happy is damn nice(:

 

 

My dream house.

1st Day of school was ok. Form teachers are HP(everyone groans), Mrs Sim, Mdm Chee, Ms Ng. Since when did a class of 34 have 4 form teachers omg. But since it was the first day, there was a hell lot of screaming, hugging and nonsense. The good part of first days. Then it was pretty draggy till school ended. Then off to vivo with Dian and Sol.(Sorry babe but mostly it was you who was existing (:  ).Some random fire center something something. Starbucks. Quick run through of Forever 21 and off to home. Not a bad day considering that though I woke up late at 6, I was calm and was in high spirits at school. That's rare. Tomorrow's pretty slack too. Class party. But probably off to Siglap starbucks to do holiday homework. 4 Booking slips and it's a detention...Something to avoid at all cost.
For a just as good tomorrow, eat famous amos cookies.

DORA, babe I'M SO SORRY! I'll bring your christmas present tomorrow, I promise(:
And I love the present, thankeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(:

Sorry mum, I'll buy it back haha.
Broke her perfume.
Almost stopped living.